real talk: May 2014

Okay friends. I was having kind of a hard time the other day. I didn't feel like I had any energy to do anything I wanted. I was really grumpy, and the fact that I wasn't excited about life was driving me bananas.

I was outside, messing around with my soccer ball-just kind of putting in 1/2 the effort I normally do (just so I could get my 1000 touches a day checked off for the list for Friday), when this idea struck me.

My heart wasn't in it.

That was my whole problem for the day.

And then I thought, if you're going to do something, anything worth your time and effort, you have to put your whole heart into it or you won't be pleased with the outcome.

And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense! If you're going to practice soccer, then by golly give it all you got! and you'll be satisfied with that day's work. Whether you're writing a blog post, flying a kite, singing your favorite song in the car by yourself, teaching a class, studying for a test, or even brushing your teeth, for pete's sakes, you do it with as much vigor and gusto as if your life depended on it.

Okay maybe not when brushing your teeth... unless you're the type of person that really enjoys cranking the music up, dancing around, and brushing your teeth like you've never brushed them before, all at the same time--which, I mean is totally cool, I've done that too.... But you get my point right?

Put your whole heart into everything. Sing at the top of your lungs, study and try to learn as much as you can everyday, take the time to do something completely right instead of only 1/2 way. It'll make life way more enjoyable and I feel like you'll be able to look back at whatever you've done and more fully appreciate the work you put in to get where you are now. It'll make each moment a little more vibrant and meaningful. It sounds so glorious and fun, who wouldn't want to live like like that?

The thing is, I'm really struggling with this concept right now. I'm at a point in my life where a lot of really great things are coming to an end and I'll be moving on to even greater things so so soon. Because the future seems so desirable to me right now and I can't wait to move on to a new adventure, my enthusiasm levels for the things I'm doing right here right now are at a solid 2.2 out of 10. (except for my pottery class... this is the only exception to the rule--well that and soccer... duh-- because normally I'm so stoked to go to pottery. and I really really try my hardest to make greatness in that class, but no matter how hard i try my stuff looks like crap. fer ril. it's so pathetic. i can't even make a box with even walls while the girl next to me sculpts harry potter. HARRY FREAKING POTTER. i guess i can cross master pottist off the list of possibilities for my future). Anyways. My heart is just not into the work I'm doing for school. I don't want to be there, I don't want to study for finals, I don't want to just sit around and do nothing because classes are winding down and teachers are running out of stuff to teach us.

It's just so hard!

But I know that if I would persevere a little harder and try to have a better attitude about it, it probably wouldn't be so bad. I need to put my heart into the last 18 days I have left in high school and leave that place with a bang! (easier said than done. way easier actually.... I'm afraid these last few weeks are going to be torture).

In an interview with my Bishop a month or so ago, he told me that when I leave for college (in just 3 short months... yikes!) I'll have a chance to be whoever I want to be. Is that not the most true statement you've ever heard?! I've given this a lot of thought because it was such a profound truth that I hadn't thought about before hand! .....Do I want to be kind of quiet and stick to myself? Should I be extremely outgoing and talk to everyone I see? What's wrong with how I am right now? Should I continue being the same person I have been for the past three years in high school? These might seem like weird questions to ask yourself, but no lie.. every single one of these questions has crossed my mind. So after a lot of thought, I just want to be myself. And part of being myself is being the type of kid who's excited about life. And part of that is putting my whole heart into whatever I'm doing. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. And it's going to be so awesome.

Yeah.

I guess all I'm trying to say here is that you can't do something well if you don't put your whole heart and soul into whatever it is. Just think about it! It applies to everything, I promise. (like the rare occasion I make food for my family. I give it all I got baby! putting the stuff in the pot and turning the oven on like a mad woman on a mission. especially so I don't screw something up and give them all food poisoning.... bad). Plus doing stuff that way is just TOO MUCH FUN I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE IT SO I TYPE IN CAPS LOCKS FOR A WHOLE SENTENCE.

So go march forward with your head held high and determination on your face, ready to put your heart into everything that comes your way and I promise you'll move mountains!!

satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory

-mahatma gandhi

And what's a blog post without pics?