sister sunday

When I was little, I wanted a baby sister so bad. More than my five year old little self could even handle. Every night, when I would say my prayers, I would ask Heavenly Father to please please please please please please please send me a baby sister of my very own. This went on for months.
Finally.... my parents told me that my prayers had been answered and that my little sister was coming!
March 24th is one of the best days of the year.
I would say it's the best but that title obviously belongs to October 31st. You're welcome world.
The day my sister graced the earth with her presence was one of the best days of my little five year old existence. I remember it so vividly! I walked into the hospital room where my mom was holding this tiny little baby. I crawled right up onto the bed next to her and held that tiny, sweet-smelling bundle for the first time.
Then I counted her fingers and toes to make sure she was normal. I don't know.. five year old logic.

NOW 14 YEARS LATER MY BABY SISTER IS ALL GROWN UP!!!
She is an all star of a ballroom dancer.
She speaks whatever is on her mind and half the time I end up laughing so hard I can't catch my breath.
The boys are all after her and she doesn't even look twice at them... total heart breaker. (i've taught her well)
She excels in school and it a fantastic writer and comes up with these really cool stories that blow my mind sometimes.
She's the ultimate adventure buddy.
She's my favorite person to snapchat.
She's crazy and weird and totally obnoxious..... all things she obviously learned from me.

**hahahaha she was so sick when I came home for Christmas break. Poor child. Super funny picture though haha**

**one thing about Lynds.... she never shuts up. This was my sneak attacking a picture of her telling me some random story. She definitely has the gift of gab**

**Some people think we are literal twins..... (do I really look 14?)**

**She loves to dance and she is SO DARN GOOD**

**Classic Lynds adventure pose**

**Isn't she just the cutest?**

 

Don't you wish your sister was as cool as mine? 

She's my best friend and even though we don't always get along, we're always there for each other. What more could you ask for?

So shout out to you, sissypoo. Thanks for keeping me company in this family. Without you I'd be one sad sorry sisterless fool!

XOXOXOXO

life as of lately

Life is just too good to me.

I get to go to school at one of the best universities, I get to live in a beautiful place, I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for, and I get to play soccer almost every day.

Like I said, life is just too good.

Lately, the escapades have consisted of late night cookout runs, multitasking homework with watching sporting events, adventurous study breaks, and not paying attention at all during school devotionals. 

Life is a lot of fun. And sometimes it's really easy. But sometimes I stress myself out because I feel like I'm just going through the motions with no set plan for my future. I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Heck, maybe I'll never figure it out. But when that happens, I just remind myself that I'm still a baby! I'm only 19. I have lots of time to choose a path. 

So for right now, I'm supposed to be living it up. Soaking up all the experiences and adventures that life throws at me. Roll with the punches. Don't get carried away in worry. Just ENJOY. Use the good times and the bad times as a foundation, and allow myself to grow and change with whatever happens. 

I may not have it all figured out. But all I know is that I like where I am. I like who I'm with. And I like knowing that I can do anything I decide. The world is my oyster (i hate cliches).

And I gotta wear shades my future is so bright.

This is only the beginning.

sunshine in my soul

My soul belongs at the beach,

I can't function without a proper dose of vitamin sea.

So when the idea of spending spring break in Florida with my five best friends was thrown onto the table, you better believe I had tears of joy in my eyes as I screamed and happy danced and excitedly proclaimed, "WE'RE GOING".

**the moment we knew we would be in Florida in 12 days**

So that's what we did. 

7 days of soaking up the warm, Florida sunshine with sandy hair and salty skin. 

It was a break from stress and drama, a get away from things that were weighing us all down, a much needed escape from reality.

Lets be honest..... it was the best 7 days ever. 

Spring break 2015 was no doubt one for the books.

i miss // for G-money

I miss you always checking up on me, sending me a random text in the middle of the day when you knew I was busy and stressed just to tell me you were thinking about me.

I miss playing UNO with you and making you so mad because I always kicked your butt.

I miss going on drives with you and listening to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber. We didn't have to talk about anything. Just drive and rock out and enjoy each other.

I miss having you play with my hair and throw a legit fit when I threatened to cut it.

I miss going on walks around the river, talking about the most random stuff like how our brains work or what we ate for lunch.

I miss making you watch Pretty Little Liars with me (even though we both know you liked it).

I miss the sound of your voice and your sweet contagious giggle. I miss making you laugh. I miss knowing exactly what to say to make you curl over with tears streaming down your face because it was just THAT funny.

I miss having deep conversations with you and my parents. I miss having you come over and sitting and talking to my mom like the whole time haha. You were just as good of friends with my parents as you were with me!

I miss the way I'd catch you looking at me if we were in a big group of people. You always had to let me know in some way that you took notice of me.

**********
It's been six whole months. Six whole months without my best friend. Six months without texting, facetiming, calling. Six months without knowing you were only 2000 miles away instead of 4000.

We've made it six whole months.

**********
I'm so happy that you are in Peru

I'm so happy that you love it there and consider it home.

I'm so proud of how hard you are working and how much you love every experience. You're always positive and you always find the good in everything and everyone.

I love that your emails go back and forth between spanish and english. And I especially love that your spelling is absolutely atrocious haha.

I love that you know what's important. And I love that you are striving to be as obedient as possible.

**********
You're a stud of a missionary, Gabriel Eli. I miss you lots but six months was easy.

The next six months will be even easier, and the next six after that will fly by, and the next six will be here and before we both know it, you'll be back.

what we want

We all think we know what we want in this world. We all have some kind of idea of the ideal life. We want to be liked and well known, successful and well off, loved by that perfect person. We think we know what's going to make us happy. We think we know ourselves. The reality of it all, however, is that we know nothing. Because of that, we never commit to anything or anyone. We cut ourselves off at the first sign of a hiccup or challenge. We run away and avoid the reality of our situation because it's easier that way. And even if we do choose--if we commit--we are still one eye wandering at the options. We want the beautiful cut of filet mingon, but we're too busy eyeing the mediocre buffet, because choice.

Because choice.

Our choices are killing us. We think choice means something. We think opportunity is good. We think the more chances we have, the better. But, it makes everything watered-down. Never mind actually feeling satisfied, we don't even understand what satisfaction looks like, sounds like, feels like. We're one foot out the door, because outside that door is more. We don't see who's right in front of our eyes asking to be loved, because no one is asking to be loved. We long for something that we still want to believe exists. Yet, we are looking for the next thrill, the next jolt of excitement, the next instant gratification.

There are always tantalizing options.

We see the world as one big limitless opportunity. We open up pinterest and instagram and see the things we think we want. The adventurous lives of others, the places we could travel to, the people we wish we were dating. We bombard ourselves with stimuli and we wonder why we're so unsatisfied all the time. We wonder why nothing lasts and why everything feels a little hopeless. We have no idea how to see our lives for what they are, instead of what they aren't.

Commitment.

If we do find it, that person we love with everything we have, a career path we are absolutely certain about, some kind of achievement. We flaunt it. We put it on instagram, facebook, the brag board at the gym. We make it seem shiny and perfect because what we choose to share is the highlight reel. No one ever sees the blood, sweat, and tears that have pushed us to where we found our success. We don't brag about all the hard times. We don't show off the battle scars.

We want people to see the perfect results, not the imperfect process.

Then we see the other shiny accomplishments of others and we compare. We are the choice culture, the comparison generation. Always measuring up. Always evaluating our worth. Are we good enough? Never before have we had so many ways to mark what it looks like to live the best possible life. We input and overload and soon find ourselves in despair. We'll never be good enough, because what we're trying to measure up to just does not exist.

Yet that's what we think we want.

And we drive ourselves crazy with the ideas of it all.

So we break up. Give up. On to the next. Searching for the elusive "more" because what we have just isn't good enough. We move on to whatever is next in line. The next fix. The next gratification. Comparing. The inevitable creeping in of subtle dissatisfaction.

We worry about settling, all the while making ourselves suffer thinking that anything less than the shiny, happy, filtered life we've been accustomed to is settling.

What even is settling, anyways?

If it's not glamorous, it's settling. If it's not instagram worthy, it's settling.

If it's not perfect, it's settling.

**********

It takes a lot to realize that the "more" we want is all a lie. What we truly want is simplicity and ease. We want a life that does not need the validation of likes, comments, re-pins. We may not know that we want this yet, but we do.

I do.

I want connection, true connection. I want real people in my life. People who aren't distracted by choice. I want more than just the surface of things. I want to dive 100 feet deep into everything I do, everyone I love.

I want pure satisfaction.

I want to lay my head down at the end of my time here and know that I lived well, that I lived the crap out of my life.

So that's what I'm going to do.